Unhappily, but truthfully, some men pick based on photos first, other data second. Women, on the other hand, don't do the same thing. We have a hard time understanding why some men only approach us solely based on our physical appearance. But often, that's the way it is, unless people meet through work or some place where they have a chance to get over their initial reactions and learn to care about each other over time.

These days, it's rare to meet someone in an ideal situation for a developing romance. All of us are on the web because we've run out of ways to meet a long-lasting love and handle a busy schedule. We've got to make a quick impression, so then we have the time to get to know each other in deeper ways. If you do post your picture, there's no doubt more men will be interested in you. They'll take the time to get to know more than just your surface appeal. And, it'll make this a much more effective site for you.

However, if you can't bear to post it just yet, then utilize Perfectmatch.com's unique member tool and search yourself. Contact men who appeal to you. Tell them some good, positive things about yourself. If they're at all intrigued and want to begin a conversation, I'd send them (and you should communicate this) a picture immediately. Some men won't even read the email if it comes without a picture. You should think of sending one initially if you like the man's profile you're contacting. Or, you can wait and see who responds to your email and then send the picture. Use what makes you feel most comfortable and works best.

It's a little different, I know, to have a picture up which tells people you're looking for love. But remember, this is your life we're talking about here. Besides, it's so common these days, no one thinks much of it. If someone you happen to know sees your picture on our site, it's because they are also trying to find someone and probably have a picture up, too. While your thoughts and intelligence will keep your real love long-lasting, your picture just might be the invite he was looking for!

The good news is the pain does go away. The bad news is it hurts for a long time, and lingers longer than most of us want to admit. Love is a deep, powerful emotion. It literally changes our body chemistry. When someone deprives us of our desire to love and be with them, our whole system goes tilt. Often, we actually crave their company even more. It's like someone just took an addictive substance away from us, which is actually what happens. We are high on hormones like dopamine, androgyny and oxytocin. When love goes, the hormones we were producing go, too. We then feel anxious, deprived and sometimes hysterical.

Friends can help us through this period. Eventually, looking for another relationship will make you feel better. Part of it's the idea you "get back on the horse"; meaning you face the thing which hurt and scared you. By facing it, you get stronger and will be more able to do whatever it is you have to do. When you're in the most painful part of the separation, it may be too early to go out. However, once you get better, there's nothing like falling in love again to erase the pain, and even the desire, for the person you used to love.

Eventually ready or not, you have to distract yourself by meeting new people. In the beginning, you may just reject everyone, or make it so they reject you. Perhaps no one will seem good enough, and at times, it may make things feel even more hopeless. But this will change, and going out with other men will start looking better to you. When you meet the right one, a relationship will seem like something you can do again. Thoughts of your ex-boyfriend will begin to be fewer and less intense. Then one glorious day, you suddenly realize, you can love again!

It's not easy. However, ultimately we can't let ourselves love a memory. We have to move forward. This is where Perfectmatch.com and its revolutionary Duet® Analysis Profile, will help you immensely! I know…it may be hard to believe it now, but you will love again. In fact, eventually you may look back and see your break-up as a lucky thing. You were able to see the flaws in the past relationship. And the new man in your life? Well, you'll now be thrilled with the new person you thoroughly adore and your life-long relationship together!

Here's the key: don't get involved with men you have to "win over". Wait for men who pursue you. You need to see they are working to make you notice how wonderful they are, rather than vice versa!

There is certainly something exciting about living with the tension and fear of rejections. But, it is really unhealthy, and ultimately, very sad. If you have to work hard to get someone's attention, it is never really going to be there. When someone is truly captivated, they will call, email, send an unexpected gift or just happen to "be in the neighborhood". If you have never truly been pursued, you need to step back and give a guy the opportunity. You will see it's really quite nice. Men, competitive creatures they are, like the challenge of a woman who is not doing all the work in building a relationship.