Unhappily, but truthfully, some men pick based on photos first, other data second. Women, on the other hand, don't do the same thing. We have a hard time understanding why some men only approach us solely based on our physical appearance. But often, that's the way it is, unless people meet through work or some place where they have a chance to get over their initial reactions and learn to care about each other over time.

These days, it's rare to meet someone in an ideal situation for a developing romance. All of us are on the web because we've run out of ways to meet a long-lasting love and handle a busy schedule. We've got to make a quick impression, so then we have the time to get to know each other in deeper ways. If you do post your picture, there's no doubt more men will be interested in you. They'll take the time to get to know more than just your surface appeal. And, it'll make this a much more effective site for you.

However, if you can't bear to post it just yet, then utilize Perfectmatch.com's unique member tool and search yourself. Contact men who appeal to you. Tell them some good, positive things about yourself. If they're at all intrigued and want to begin a conversation, I'd send them (and you should communicate this) a picture immediately. Some men won't even read the email if it comes without a picture. You should think of sending one initially if you like the man's profile you're contacting. Or, you can wait and see who responds to your email and then send the picture. Use what makes you feel most comfortable and works best.

It's a little different, I know, to have a picture up which tells people you're looking for love. But remember, this is your life we're talking about here. Besides, it's so common these days, no one thinks much of it. If someone you happen to know sees your picture on our site, it's because they are also trying to find someone and probably have a picture up, too. While your thoughts and intelligence will keep your real love long-lasting, your picture just might be the invite he was looking for!

No, never wait, since you may be waiting forever. Some people are extremely conscientious and respond to every email quickly, whether it is to say no thank you, or to ask for further information. Others, simply ignore requests sometimes for weeks, sometimes forever. It seems harsh, but many people get so many emails they get overwhelmed. If they think there is no chance for a match, they just let the email go. This can hurt, especially if you try the person again and they still don't answer. It's rude, but it seems to be common. If you wait around, and invest too much emotion and energy in one response, it may set you up for more disappointment than you need to have. A second try might cause you a little discomfort, but it's worth it if the person really interests you. Waiting for more than a few days for a response really isn't necessary or even advisable.

Interact with the people who interact with you. If someone waits too long to respond, and you are already seeing someone else you are interested in, well, this situation is just a lesson for the person who let you get away. You can bet they will be less likely to do that again!

If you have tried someone once, or particularly if you have tried them twice, and they still don't answer right away, forget about them. They are either off the net, interested in someone else, or just not interested in you. Whatever the reason, you need to move on. The wonderful thing about PerfectMatch.com is there are plenty of great people to move on to. New people join every day. Sooner or later, one of them will spark your interest. Keep involved. Look at profiles yourself, and think over the matches we propose. Don't let someone's lack of attention to your request deter you!

We have a much more sophisticated process of helping you find your perfect match. It's really not complicated, but it does require you to do the quiz and establish a personality profile on Duet®. Yahoo and most of the other sites merely find out who is similar to you and match you up with people who have listed similar educational backgrounds, hobbies, and stated preferences. This is somewhat helpful, but you know and I know, it's not the whole story. Just about everyone likes to "take walks on the beach"; matching on this criteria isn't going to get you far. We don't think the Yahoo system is going to help you, but we do think ours does!

First, you will get new insights on what your romantic style is in a relationship. It's hard to know who you should be with if you don't know what your own central personality traits are! By answering a short series of questions, you will tap eight personality traits research shows are important in determining compatibility. You will find out, for example, if you are impulsive in love or not; if you are a high energy versus more laid back lover; if you are optimistic about relationships and the future, or more cautious in approach; and if you plan a life with a lot of variety and adventure in it, or are more of a homebody who wants a predictable set of experiences that you enjoy over and over. You will also find out if you are flexible about the way things are run in a relationship, or if you have specific expectations you are not going to change. You will see if you are collaborative in a relationship and enjoy following someone else's lead a lot, or if you are a leader and like to be the decisive person most of the time. You will determine if you have a passionate personality or a more temperate approach to issues in the relationship and life in general. Finally, you will find out the special way we define introversion versus extroversion and why this is an extremely important part of compatibility matching.

You will get suggestions about how all these characteristics create a personality type. We send you matches we think are personality profiles which might interest and intrigue you. If you want to make sure you are getting matches with a certain amount of chemistry, you can look at images first, and then use the Duet® compatibility system to pick out people who are mentally, as well as physically, attractive to you.

The test will take you 30 minutes or less. And, it will give you a head start on finding a good fit with who you are. Duet® is uniquely useful, and we have letters every day from people who tell us it really worked for them. Try it and see if you don't learn more about who you are and who you should look for once you have taken the quiz. At the very least, you can take part of the personality profile information you discover and apply it to your own search; another totally unique feature on Perfectmatch.com™. For example, using it to discover a few of the characteristics which matter the most to you; such as whether a person is high energy, work focused rather than more laid back and more relationship focused. If you want, you can ask the search engine just to show you people who are A rather than B types, or extroverted rather than introverted. Anyway you look at it, you will have the best online relationship tools invented to help you find someone with whom you can have a truly meaningful and long-term connection.